Gone
by AngieRosie
Summary: She told him that it was okay if he had to leave, and for once she wished he wouldn't have listened.


-Gone-

Juliet sat in her car outside of her house not feeling anything. She turned the headlights off and just sat there. She looked at her home to see three figures in the window. What was she going to tell them? She put her forehead on the steering wheel and wrapped her arms around herself. She couldn't. She couldn't look into her children's eyes and act okay.

She slowly got out of the car. Her legs felt like jello as she made her way up the steps to the front door. It felt like it had been years since she was last home, but in reality it had only been twelve hours.

"Mommy," Elizabeth, her three year old daughter yelled as she ran down the steps when Juliet opened the door. "You're home! I missed you." From one of the last steps she jumped into Juliet's open arms. Jules was surprised she could catch her.

"I missed you too, Baby Girl." Juliet hugged her tight as she made her way up the stairs. When she got to the top she saw her lanky partner sitting at the children's table in the corner with stickers all over him. She smiled. He was a good man. As soon as they got the call, he went over to their house to be there for the kids.

"Mommy," Jessica, her eight year old, run over to give her a hug. "Where's Daddy? We got to bring home our projects today, and I wanted to give mine to him." Juliet just kissed the top of her girl's head and looked at Carlton.

He knew what that meant. The snarky psychic wasn't coming home. His heart broke for Juliet. He never thought he'd ever admit it, but he was going to miss the guy. "Where's James," she asked as he got up and walked towards her.

"He's in the kitchen working on his homework," Carlton said. He put his hand on Juliet's shoulder before leaving the room. She knew he wasn't going far. He was only going outside to make some phone calls that he knew Juliet couldn't make.

"James? Can you come here please?" Within a few seconds, a thirteen version of Shawn appeared in the doorway. To the younger girls, their mom looked fine. It looked like nothing bad had happened. But James noticed her puffy eyes. He noticed the different tone in her voice. He knew something was wrong the second his Uncle Carlton picked him up at school. Juliet sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to her. He slowly walked over and sat next to her.

"Where's dad," he asked in a whisper. Juliet put her arm around him before speaking. She blinked the tears out of her eyes and cleared her throat.

"Well…" She didn't know where to begin or what to say. She wanted to run and hide somewhere, but she couldn't. She had to be strong for her children that were patiently waiting to hear what she was going to say. "Today there was an accident at work… and… your father won't be coming home."

James knew exactly what that meant. He stared at the coffee table as a tear ran down his cheek. His dad couldn't be dead. He _needed_ his dad. He looked up to Shawn more than anybody else. There had to be a mistake. This couldn't be happening. This had to be a dream.

"Did Daddy run away wif Uncle Gus to find dat magical island of pineapples," Lizzie asked as she put her hand on her mother's cheek. Juliet smiled as she remembered Shawn's threat he used every once in a while if one of the girls weren't listening to him.

"No sweetie. Daddy went to Heaven with-"

"Like Mr Buttons did," Jessica asked. Juliet nodded. Even though Jessica was young, she understood death. Shawn had explained to her what it was when their cat died a couple months before. Juliet could tell she understood from the look on her face. Jess knew the loneliness that was going to come. She was going to miss her daddy, but she still had her mommy and James and Elizabeth, so she still could try to be happy, right? She hugged her mommy real tight so she wouldn't cry. Juliet looked at Elizabeth who still didn't completely understand.

"So we won't see Daddy eva again?" Juliet's heart broke for her daughter.

"No Baby Girl, we'll see him again someday. But until then, your daddy is up in Heaven watching out for you." Juliet got a knot in her throat again.

"Like a gardeden angel?" She smiled and shook her head. "Is daddy safe up dere?"

"Yes, he is very safe. He will always be with you keeping you safe too." Juliet saw a sense of peace overcome both of her daughters. She looked over to James who was just staring off into space silently crying.

"Then I think we're going to be okay someday. Right mommy," Jessica asked softly through a yawn. "If Daddy's still going to be with us, we're going to be okay." Juliet nodded. She was proud of her kids. They were strong and very smart. They'd make it through this.

"Mommy, I'm sleepy. Can I go to bed," Elizabeth asked. Juliet looked at the clock to see that it was almost midnight.

"Sure you can, sweetie. And tonight if you want you both can watch a movie if you'd like." She didn't know how to deal with death. She had never lost anyone close to her while the kids were around. She figured just going with the flow and doing whatever made them happy and comfortable was the way to go.

After getting the girls in bed, she walked back out to the family room to see Carlton sitting on the couch talking with James. That's when she realised that they wouldn't be going through this alone. They had Carlton and Marlowe, Gus and Rachael, Henry, Chief Vick, and so many other people who loved them.

Juliet stepped on a squeaky part of the floor that made her presence known to both of the boys. She looked at her son and saw her husband in him. He had his unkempt, brown hair and unique green eyes with golden speckles. Out of all three children, he inherited his father's gift of an eidetic memory. "Come here," she whispered as she held her arms out to him. Even though he was a few months shy of fourteen, he was already taller than her.

"I love you, mom," he said as he hugged her tighter than ever before. They didn't always get along, and he just made a promise to Lassiter, himself, and, most importantly, his dad that he would change that.

"I love you too," she said pulling away and looking him in the eyes. "Your dad is so proud of you. You know that, right?" He smiled and nodded.

"Can I sleep with the girls tonight," he asked timidly. Whenever there'd be a storm or Elizabeth would have a nightmare, Lizzie would want James to crawl into the bottom bunk and sleep with her. She had a feeling that that would be his temporary bed for a while.

"Just make sure you all get to sleep. We're going to have a long few weeks ahead of us."

-x-

Carlton stood on the back deck with Juliet as she started her second glass of wine. They had been standing in silence for an hour. They both knew that they should be sleeping, but Carlton wanted to make sure that she was okay and Jules didn't want face an empty bed.

"The bullet that killed him was supposed to hit me," she finally said not looking up from her wedding ring. "He took it for me. He died at the scene, but they revived him. When we got to the hospital, they found that he was brain dead so they didn't bother doing surgery. They figured he was going to be gone in a few hours, so we let him pass naturally." Juliet's vision started to blur. "And the son of a bitch that shot him got away. He got away! An-and I can-can't get the vision of his blood on me out of my head!" She looked up at her partner who also had tears in his eyes. "Carlton, that bullet was supposed to hit me! He's supposed to be alive, not me!" She then fell into his arms and cried her heart out.


End file.
